I know I'm a day late, but I have to say - yesterday was one of the best Valentine's Days I've had in a long time. Don't get me wrong - my husband is very sweet and knows that our relationship is not going to do well based on one stupid Hallmark holiday, but does a great job at making me feel special on this specific day. We had a fun time at work (my job goes all out for holidays - we had a decoration competition, and that always makes for a let's-work-a-little-less-than-normal (read: a-lot-less) type of day). So although I was in a good mood on my way home, I was still feeling a little down - I didn't expect to give or get anything from Paul because we're a bit tight financially, but I was letting that make me feel unloved. Have you felt that way? It seems especially hard when I know my husband loves me, and he does what he can to show me that love. Part of me just wanted a gift of some sort...some tangible thing to show me that I'm loved, appreciated, blah blah blah...I hate sounding like a grumbler.
I decided to stop and get Paul a card on my way home from work. We usually exchange cards in the morning before work on holidays/birthdays, but since we now get up at 4:15 every morning, I'm sure there were more pertinent things on our minds (i.e. dragging ourselves out of bed, sleepily swaying in the shower, getting Isaac ready without dropping him or allowing him to dive head-first off the changing table...you know, the basics.) So I bought a card and some peanut M&Ms (one of Paul's favorites), picked up Isaac from his caregiver's house, and went home. He was pretty fussy (he hasn't felt well lately), so I put him down for a nap almost right when we got home, so I didn't even get play or cuddle time with him to make me feel better.
Side note - I haven't bought anything for Isaac's "first" year. I didn't do anything for his first Halloween (except stuff him into a costume that we had donated to us for 10 minutes), or his first T-giving, or Christmas...except pictures, which I think are more important anyway. I haven't filled out his baby book - I tried when I was pregnant to write some stuff in it, and I recorded stuff from him actual date of birth, but nothing beyond that. I haven't had professional photos taken of him at any point in his life thus far. I don't have an adorable collage frame full of pictures I had printed off, photo-shopped and mounted. These are all wonderful things, but we haven't had the time, money or energy to do any of it. Does that make me a bad parent? I don't think so. I just keep reminding myself that he won't remember this year unless he's some sort of evil genius with a super-human memory, and if that's the case, we have bigger problems on our hands. All this to say that I didn't do anything for Isaac yesterday either, except put him in a cute "Heart Breaker" outfit that was given to us. Okay...end side note.
So I'm sitting on the couch, watching an old Robert Downey Jr. movie (Hearts and Souls...so good) and crying like a fool (not blubbering, but definite tears), when in walks my amazing husband with a dozen of my favorite roses and a beautifully cheesy card. I cannot tell you how that absolutely made my day, even if my first, mostly internal reaction was about the money he spent on these roses (which he didn't actually spend any money - he was able to use a gift card's remaining balance...dude!). This girl was a very happy camper.